10 Things the Premiership taught us this week

  1. When it comes to consistency, you just can’t beat Manchester United. 34 points out of the last 36. Just wow.
  1. Mario Balotelli has some serious problems. Three red cards this season. We miss Super Mario from the start of the year.
  1. Lionel Messi thinks he’s Hatem Ben Arfa. Watch out this summer England, if Hatem makes the French squad.
  1. Papiss, please stop it. You’re making Newcastle fans too happy and Mike Ashley is missing being moaned at.
  1. Everton have a better goal difference than Liverpool. Everton’s current frontmen cost £5.5 million. Liverpool’s? (cough) 50 (cough).
  1. Don’t mention England at White Hart Lane. We don’t want them imploding anymore. The whole club might explode.
  1. Roberto Mancini looks rather lost at the moment. One can only feel sorry for him. Until you remember he signed all the egotistical dickheads that have ruined City’s season.
  1. For a ‘team in crisis’, Arsenal aren’t half doing well.
  1. Clint Dempsey, take a bow. 16 Premier League goals this season. Best return ever from a Fulham player in the Premier League.
  1. Everyone keeps talking about Brendan Rodgers and Swansea, but Paul Lambert and Norwich are in tenth, four places above them. Hype directed the wrong way?

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